Vacuum Bag – Stroke 9
Recently I have spent a lot of time thinking about the future. As a soon to be college graduate I find myself wondering where I am going to go next summer, what I am going to do… and I find that I have a war wadging inside of me.
In my ideal world. I would like to take some time off, save up some money and spend a month in Europe, visiting all the places that I feel as though I will never have a chance to see again. But that is my carefree side talking.
My practical side says something completely different.
The OCD, always needs to have her life in order Michelle says that travel is not an option. Instead, this side of me feels as though I should have a job the minute I graduate, be prepared to work the very next day, and stay close to my friends and family.
I feel as though a lot of my life has been spent waring between what I “should do” and what I “want to do.” Sometimes it feels as though the two line up perfectly and others it seems as though they couldn’t be farther apart.
I am super excited to get out in the real world, have a job – apartment – friends in the city that I decide to move to, but at the same time I feel like I have the rest of my life to have those things, and that this could be my last chance to go out and see the world. I just wish I had a crystal ball that would allow me to look into the future and see what was going to happen.
I really hate not knowing. It really freaks me out, but I guess now is a time where we just can’t know. We just have to have faith.
I guess it’s just time to see where life takes me. Who knows.
You might also like...: