You might have heard the story of a man named Jed. You know, he was a poor mountaineer and barely kept his family fed?
This is not that story.
Instead this is the story of a boy named “Kevin.”
Unlike Jed, “Kevin” was not a poor mountaineer and I pray that he didn’t have a family to keep fed. I met “Kevin” at a bar in Midtown with Twisty. It was the typical situation: group of boys hits on girls, bachelor party, blah blah blah. I’m sure you’ve all been there before. We all did the song and dance, introducing ourselves and I proceeded to promptly forget everyone’s name. Granted I’m not that good at names to begin with. Ask anyone at work about “Orville” whose name was really Carl (they are both old names, it works). All was well and good until “Kevin” decided to get my number so he could take me out.
I wasn’t that stressed about not knowing “Kevin’s” name because I didn’t really expect him to call. Wasn’t stressed that is, until I woke up to a text the next day telling me how nice it was to meet me and I realized I couldn’t tell you this kid’s name if you paid me a million dollars. I started to worry just a bit, wondering what to do. Should I ask who he is? Is that rude? What if he thinks I’m THAT girl? Realizing I could never be known as that girl who “didn’t remember,” I wrote it off and proceeded to start up a cute, flirty text conversation with a boy whose name I thought started with a K. “Kevin”
The best part of the story? We had a decent conversation the night before about what I did and how I could put him on the first page of Google. He proceeded to tell me I couldn’t since he shared his name with someone famous. Did I remember who? Noooo Did I remember what activity this person was famous for? No way. All I knew was that I met him at a bar and he was funny. Well done Michelle, well done.
I had officially entered my own real life version of How I Met Your Mother. I polled friends, family, strangers, everyone in my life knew the story and found it to be hilarious. Suggestions were thrown my way, each quickly rejected.
- Call (from another number) at an hour when he would “be asleep” Who knows when that is?
- Google his number Who’s cell number is on Google?
- Text (also from another number) asking who he was – tried epic fail
- Ask his name Pride prevented this course of action
- Try to sneak a peak at his credit card when he paid the bill SO RUDE
- Ask how he spells his name Right… So I look like a fool when he says “It’s Tom, T-O-M”
- Try to get his email So I could send him what? A party invite? Yeah right…
While I was pretty convinced I could get through an entire date without ever once mentioning his name, it wasn’t an activity that I was particularly looking forward to. So we moved into Plan B (not That Plan B). This new plan was to let the phone go to voice mail when he called (thanks coworkers!) Solid plan, he’d have to leave his name and I would be off the hook….
Want to know what happens? Stay tuned…
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Gah I want to know what happensssssssss! Michelle, you have me on the edge of my seat. Sorry the plan we came up with never panned out. I think it would have worked like a charm.